As a romance writer, I actually get asked about my love life a lot—from strangers, family, and couples looking to put a little bit of zing back into their marriage. It can be a little disconcerting, to say the least.Now, while I don’t think that what I do qualifies me as a counsellor, I have heard some great advice over the years from counsellor-type people, my friends, some online reading, and most importantly my parents—who have been together for almost 40 years.
One of the biggest things that I’ve learned, a necessary must for couples, is to GO ON DATES! Yes, you’ve got a mortgage now, yes the kids go to bed at 7:30, yes you’ve worked late the last three nights in a row…
But it’s important, and it’s the best way to keep your relationship fresh, energized, and exciting (we’ll talk about the sex toys some other day). Some person reminded me of this the other day. I mean really, when you were dating, wasn’t this the most interesting part—getting out, just the two of you to talk and spend time doing something together? Here are 52 ideas for a great date (which have been shamefully lifted from an article by Keishia Lee-Louis) You’ll notice that there are no movies mentioned. Some of these can be pricey, but others are no more expensive than the gas it takes to get out. It doesn’t have to be exciting and weird, it just has to be for the two of you, so that you have time to connect with each other:
1. Visit a Safari park
2. Be tourists again, and tour your local historic site.
3. Go to the museum
4. Take in a play
5. Ride bikes in the park and have a picnic
6. Go roller skating/blading
7. Try your hand at bowling
8. Check out the planetarium
9. Take a cooking class together
10. Swim at the beach or lake
11. Go to an amusement park
12. Sing karaoke
13. Play pool
14. Get salsa lessons--or try the tango
15. Fly a kite
16. Go rock climbing--indoors or out
17. Hear some cool jazz
18. Try a poetry slam
19. Go line dancing
20. Try some tapas
21. See an opera
22. Check out a baseball game
23. Go to a book signing (come to mine! lol)
24. Become putt-putt golf pros
25. Drive a race car
26. Play video games at an arcade
27. Walk along the pier
28. Ride in a glider
29. Run a race
30. Go to a hockey game
31. Eat at a Brazilian steakhouse
32. Solve clues at a mystery dinner theatre
33. Laugh at a comedy club
34. Embark on a dinner cruise
35. Make your personalized teddy bears
36. Find fish fascinating at the aquarium
37. Take a hike
38. Grab a cup of coffee and a decadent treat
39. Check out a concert under the stars
40. Feed each other fondue
41. Take a hot air balloon ride
42. Visit a vineyard
43. Treat yourself to the spa
44. Curl up next to a fire and read to each other
45. Be pampered at a bed & breakfast
46. Sit for a portrait
47. Go skiing
48. Ride in a helicopter
49. Catch the carnival while it's in town
50. Go antiquing (or junkin' depending upon your perspective)
51. Watch 'em ride at the rodeo
52. Make memories in an art/photography class
So, are you going on a date this weekend?
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I agree with you. You have to do things together, go on dates together, spend time talking to each other sans enfants!
We have no one to watch the kids so hubby and I rarely do the date thing.
We get our best alone time (dressed) when we ride in the car together. Sounds silly, but we're trapped in the metal and must communicate (unless I get stuck listening to sports radio). So we like to go for aimless rides when the price of gas is down, LOL.
The hubby and I have no plans this weekend but we're like Tiff; it's hard to find baby-sitters. So, we don't go out together a lot. Maybe once a month.
What we do a lot is take the kiddo for a long walk in the stroller. He zones out and we talk. It's sorta a low-key date opportunity.
Tiff and Marnee, our "babysitters" ie our parents, live between 30-60 minutes away so we don't often get to go out either, but we make a point of finding a way to do it about once a month. Otherwise, we plan an "in-home" date-night at least once a week. Even if it has to happen on a weeknight and we're just going to sit back in front of the tv before going to bed together, early.
Maggie, we like the car rides too. If we're going somewhere far and we'll be in the car for an hour or more, then kiddo usually has his television on or he falls asleep. We have a great time talking.
Great blog, J.K.
We've tried to keep this up over the years too. Believe it or not this is one of the contributions my DH brought to our marriage. My parents never did alone time - his did. He also tries to get us out for overnight stays or long weekends every year or two. I used to fight him thinking it was too extravagant or feeling like I was abandoning the kids. My mom told me to smarten up and listen to my husband! LOL
As the kids have gotten older it's easier to get out and leave them by themselves. Although, we have been extremely lucky with babysitters - family, neighbors, etc.
Like Maggie said we've had some great alone time in the car. Last year my DH bought a mid-life crisis car (1979 MG Midget) and now when the weather is nice we go out for a ride with the top down. A couple of weeks ago we took a ride to a Dairy Queen and I felt so guilty not telling the kids. LOL
Regular holidays in relaxing and beautiful surroundings are a must IMO. Even if its just a long weekend, to stroll through new territory where no-one knows you can be re-invigorating.
On holiday I'm always stealing kisses from Mrs Q when no-one is looking, often on cliff tops with stunning scenery. Then in the evening there is a new bed. Someone else makes the breakfast and there is a new view from the window.
Getting back home is always nice as well. Just relaxing back into the familiar surroundings.
Yep you can't beat holiday breaks.....except when everything goes wrong. But that's another story *grin*
Irish, I'm glad you listened to your mother! Sometimes it feels as if going out on a date is so immature. We should be cleaning or working or doing groceries or visiting the in-laws or...
You see, if I let it, the list would be neverending, and the excuses would really start to pile up. As it is, I have a hard time saying no--especially to family and friends when we're asked to go hang out or have a bbq or attend one of the niece's dance recitals or hockey games or ... You see!! Again!!
But a long time ago, I made a point of telling hubby that no matter, hell or high water, we were going to make time for just us every week--and go on an actual date at least once a month.
Q--that's wonderful. But keep stealing those kisses every day of the week. In the kitchen. On the couch, etc... :)
Great reminder, J.K.! It *is* hard to remember to set aside time for us as a couple, not just as fellow parents :)
Does going on a date with myself count? LOL! I don't have a Significant Other, but I've been meaning to get to this beautiful art museum here since 2006 and never make it. This weekend, it's me and the Chrysler, no matter what. LOL!
That is, after I complete my LAST FINAL. Whoot. THEN, it's me and the Chrysler (that's the museum, not the car. *g*)
I'm so glad I'm single because I don't have to worry about any of this. LOL
Terri, Elyssa... will you be my dates? :)
When people find out I read and write about romance they seem to think I know about making relationships work too. However, I don't think those people stop to think about the fact that we write about the falling in love and the getting over a hurdle or two in that process but that we're often not writing about how that couple made their marriage last after the book ends!
Great suggestions... would it be too much if I printed this list and handed it to my next date? "Here, I want to do these things. Can you handle this?"
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