A man was on the edge of the bed as his wife looked at herself in the mirror. "Oh, to be six again," he heard her say.
Well, her birthday was coming up, and he got a brilliant idea for the best present ever. On the morning of her birthday, he brought her a bowl of Lucky Charms and told her he was taking her to Six Flags. When they got there, he put her on every ride---the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster. He bought her ice cream and cotton candy. On the way home he stopped at McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal. Then he took her to the movies---a big bucket of buttered popcorn and giant soda, coming right up.
When she collapsed on the bed, sick to her stomach from being upside down and eating junk all day, he leaned over and asked, "Honey, what was it like being six again?"
She looked up at him and wiped that silly smile right off his face. "I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!"
Morale of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.
Something like this happened to me once. Years ago, I coveted my stepgrandmother's sapphire and diamond wedding band. I told my husband how much I liked it. I might even have left a jewery store flyer with a sapphire and diamond ring taped to the TV so there was a chance he'd see it. Christmas came, and lo and behold, there was a ring box in my stocking.
I opened it. Inside was a pretty emerald and diamond wedding band. Like the rude ungrateful Vixen I am, I said, "But they're not sapphires!"
His first words: "You wanted sapphires? They would have been cheaper."
His second words:"You can wear it and think of my eyes."
His eyes are hazel green (like my heroes, come to think of it). I kept the ring, and think of him, the dumb ass.
The Big Mis is a big thing in romance. Are you a fan or not? Do you have your own Big Mis story, fiction or fact?